Going abroad is like starting from zero. I had to understand and acknowledge the most simple elements of daily life that have been always obvious. Doing groceries can be as scary as being interrogated! One day you land in a new country and from that same moment you become an alien: everything looks strange, public transport seems incomprehensible, the streets' organization have no sense at all, and people are just from another planet. This could sounds really bad, but I think is one of the moments that I enjoyed the most during this process. The fact that everything is new makes the most boring activity an adventure. I know it sounds romantic, but I'm not lying. Going to the bank to open an account means getting in contact with a few people first to know where to go and how to get there, and afterwords a few more to start the whole process (and what a complex process it is in The Netherlands!). When finally I got my account and card, I went to the bank to make the last move and one of the bank employees looked at me from the other side of the counter and screams: "Oh, our best and most loyal client! How are you Miss Montana?" Of course this is just due to the fact that I had to go to the bank at least 15 times to make it! But it was a nice story to tell I have to say. All my Dutch friends could just laugh about it and offered me extra help for future procedures.
A few months later I got to the point in which I knew the city and I was able to help people find his/her way: I was part of it. Off course this is the result of getting lost several times while biking, walking, or moving by any other transportation mean. I also got to recognize the fear in the new aliens' faces, and I thought stuff like "Oh, this tourists are so annoying!" (Yes sure, because I am super Dutch). Additionally, a new group of friends pops-up into my life, starting to slowly, slowly seem family: together we had a bunch of activities that composed our new routine. However, this is a tricky moment. As an alien I was surrounded by people in my same situation. I found strong connections with other individuals who, even if from other cultures, looked just like me. We were all excited, confused, and new, like freshmen. So, I built my new life with some of them but I didn't realize something. They became an essential part of my life making their way into my heart, they gave this new life experience a spicy flavor. But, at some point they went back to their own countries. In my case this was kind of funny. As I was the only one from my friend's group who decided to extend indefinitely the stay in this watery country, I saw all of them (one by one) say goodbye. My alien community was gone.
As soon as this happened the first stage was denial. I tried to see Amsterdam in the same way as always, and believed that my next year will be just the same as the just concluded one. When the lie came down to pieces I saw a completely new life coming. The only thing I was able to think at that point was "Come on! Another life construction process in the same year? You have to be kidding me!" Well, life was not kidding. I crushed against Dutch life. And this is when the fun starts.
Do you have any idea of how ridiculously complex is to arrange bureaucratic issues in a country is not yours? Well, I had none. I was kind of illegal for almost two months because my new resident permit was being issued. At the same time I realized I couldn't get access to regular health insurance because I was not a resident. I had no house because I was no longer a student, so the housing benefits were over. I was not registered anywhere in the city so I was not able to get the mail with the information about my residence. I was a number without location and I realized it all more or less at the same time. The thing is that when I finally saw that I had no control over my life at that moment I couldn't do what I normally do: go home, seat with my mum or dad at the table and start talking like a parrot trying to figure the solution out. At that point I saw two options: relax and laugh or stress out and cry. I took the second one. Fortunately my boyfriend, being like he is, was present and supportive (and a little tough when necessary) every single second.
Today, almost completely over the crisis I have one conclusion: it can be like this for ever. I can stay here for fifteen more years and I suspect that I will probably keep having cultural shocks. However I do not see it as an issue. In fact, it is an advantage! This is my new home, here is where my dreams are getting a nice shape, this is where I would like to stay by now, but I want to stay as an alien. I want to keep my essence to not melt into the same sauce as the locals. Dutch people are amazing in every sense and I have no complains, but they are still Dutch and I will always be Colombian. I don't care if I have to struggle with the system for the rest of my life, because I already now how to do it. I love my life here because I saw all my weaknesses in their climax but I never stopped smiling (sometimes between some tears) and knowing that here is where I belong for now. I know I will see more people coming and going away, I will also go home crying and asking for help to my (super patient and lovely) boyfriend few more times, I will fall from my bike when the city will be covered by snow, and I will keep arguing that Dutch people have no idea what breakfast and lunch are about. But I also know that I found here the complete version of myself, and I love it.
